Why does Corona taste like a burp?
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
He better not be in your backpack
Listen man, there's two things I know about in life: porn and sound. On a day that I'm wearing khakis, I need you to trust that I know what the fuck I'm doing.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
