the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
