You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Jesus, I just want to drink. Also simultaneously punch things and rub my vagina on them.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Randomize
