The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
found the other keg... it's in the tree
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
PS: I just woke up from my shower
I want to play lord of the rings tonight. And by that I mean get really drunk, potentially lost, and go trekking through the woods or climbing shit. I want all of you there. You are the fellowship. This is a mass text. I am insanely high.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
Sorry that I was such a monster last night. It was the drugs, I promise.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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