I am drunk raised to the nth degree. The possibility of getting sick is approaching infinity.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Any man who has a face like that and a bike, deserves a vagina like yours permanently.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
