I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
working out is totally making me break out.. i'm doomed to forever be either a butterface or a butterbod. there is no way out.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
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