nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sorry for allegedly lighting the beer pong balls of fire
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
More cowboy butts than you can shake a stick at, oh joy.
He said the pain stops when I get my shit together and stop being a drugged out alcoholic mess. Could have just said no.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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