woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Bring me your tired, your weary, your buffalo chicken dip
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
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