How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
This German chick looked me up and down for a while. Then she grabbed my crotch, let go after a few seconds, and said "you vill do". I think I'm gonna like tonight.
He sent me a snap of him eating a tamale shirtless. I think I might be in love.
LOCK HIM DOWN.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
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