did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
it's 8 a.m. and there are people having sex at the foot of the strangers bed i'm in. the guy just asked the girl how she lost her baby weight so fast.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
Everyone got an underage but her
How'd she get out of it?!
She hid in the FUCKING DRYER
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
