I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
my dad wants uyo to call him right now...reverse drunk dialing
Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
well i just had my first "when i graduated college she was 12" morning
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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