I haven't worn deodorant in like three days and have been laying around in my underwear listening to music and drinking. I think i've made my own Bonnaroo in my apartment.
He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Gym doesn't open till 11. I'm sure that of the other four people waiting in the lobby, I'm the only one still drunk and only going to the gym to shower.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
he said no girl had ever swallowed his cum before
he probably also told you he thought u were pretty
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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