Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
Some guy wearing a horse mask just knocked on my door and started whinnying. I opened the door and he was like, "...oh sorry, wrong room..." so awk.
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He gave me a brownie at the beginning of class and now I can't feel my face.
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
Randomize
