just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Wish I didn't live with 3 girls so I could beat off in peace.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
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