Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
The tequila monkeys have a drum solo in my skull right now. I can't imagine Emily feels better.
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