Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
Hes trying to fuck me on a bear rug. Not saying no.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Randomize
