I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
