your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
I think our camping neighbours like us. We're the drunk girls trying to chop firewood with no pants on at 3 in the afternoon.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
