i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Suite mates just came in and said that we have to go to Africa. They're already packed. Didn't know you could get that high.
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
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my passenger side seat is covered in alcoholic jello with a nude mannequin in it
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
when she asked where we met, i said the liquor store. the next words out of moms mouth? 'oh that's real promising molly'
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
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