and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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