does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
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