The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
so it turns out, not only do the doormen judge the girls I bring home, but they rate them.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
I kind of learned that hotels are unnecessary. Boys will just take you home, but that's tough with a group. I believe in us, though.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
And the sexual frustration is like I'm wearing a damn horcrux
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