weddingsv make me drug and hornr
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
I found them in the kitchen microwaving bottle rockets chanting U.S.A U.S.A U.S.A
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
I'm treating this like a real date. My boobs aren't even out.
I'm so proud, I have tears
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
I keep picking up boring men who literally just want to cuddle. HOW AM I THIS BAD AT GETTING SEX?
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
You know its awkward when your mom walks in on you and your boyfriend yelling surprise....I was scared into an orgasm
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