We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I miss seeing you
i hope for the sake of your safety you were not with your girlfriend while sending texts like that at 3 am
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