the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Randomize
