should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
I didn't realize I was holding it, until I was like, "whose baby is this?"
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My usual answer of have sex with it doesn't work in this situation
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
