yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Porn is love you can see.
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
Randomize
