I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
in other news, i feel like i just shat out all my sins.
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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