I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Randomize
