is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I might have been the first person to be rolling balls at a referee seminar
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
He could stay over, if you'd just ask.
Yeah. What am I supposed to say? "Oh, my couch is occupied, but my vagina's not"
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
