so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
THE COP WHO TOOK MY MUGSHOT LAST NIGHT JUST ADDED ME ON FACEBOOK
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
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