She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
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