This girl is more easily done than said...
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
