How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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