Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
I'm at about main and main street
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
i just remember sliding through the snow and yelling i love america before puking on the oncoming cars
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I pour the whiskey from now on
Mom said it is up to us to plan Thanksgiving. Hooters or Scores?
Or???
Dude just walked up to me, gave me his number and said, if this number ever calls its my penis,better keep that one handy. I cant lie its the best pick up line ever, im calling his penis.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
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