Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
apparently i ate an entire bag of goldfish, kissed some guy with a girlfriend who now wants to kill me, made my sister sleep in my bed with me while i wore no pants, and told my whole family i am pregnant with jonny's devil baby...never drinking again
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
i wanna have a kid now so by the time he's 20 ill only be 42 and assuming im already divorced we can pick up girls together
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Send me the video of myself under the polar bear skin. It's important.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
Can I bother you for a second.
You always bother me but go on.
Randomize
