found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
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All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
Yea we had fun. Lost my wallet some girl has it. Sarah fell asleep in a cab and ended up at some wawa. It was cray. She's home now
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently "Do you want me to ruin your day now or later?" is not a good way to tell someone you're pregnant and it's theirs.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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