I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
On the quad today: An amish choir singing something weird, and not 30 feet away 3 girls tanning topless. Definition of diversity.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
Randomize
