mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
i kept telling her phones are not food, and she countinued to put it in her mouth..
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
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