I hate you, and I hope you have babies soon that you love very much. Then I will steal them and feed them to sharks, and you will be so heart broken that you never want to have any more kids and you'll just hide out in a dark room all day wondering how someone could feed another persons babies to sharks.
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
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We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
I miss you more than I would miss junk food if I went on a diet. And you've seen me eat, you know how desperate I'd be.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
Napping in front of family members can be embarrassing when you get a christmas boner in your sleep
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
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