sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
As soon as he called me 'darling' in that Scottish accent... my pants just dropped.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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