she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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