suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Yeah, I mean I'll probably fuck him regardless but I'm trying to be a lady about it.
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
Randomize
