I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
And then you told me I had large hands and looked like a girl who would have an illegitimate child that I never talked about
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
