grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
man, i hate rosetta stone. i wanted to impress this girl with italian last night but all i could say were things like "a blue airplane" and "he is wearing a white shirt"
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Sorry I missed your call earlier. I was getting high with my high school band teacher.
Randomize
