Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
A man can only lie in bed watching COPS for so long before he wants to do things that can lead him to starring on the show.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
