I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
