I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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