just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
We go out, we get drunk, we watch Star Wars, we pass out. What's wrong with this tradition?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Randomize
