Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize