who knew "i drink your milkshake" would work as a pickup line
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
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