My nipple is on Facebook.
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
I don't know what happened last night but I woke up this morning with "wolf pack" tattooed on my knuckles.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
Shut up. I hate you. We're doing shots tomorrow. Fuck the consequences.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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