If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Randomize
