So we walked by this chick's house and she starts yelling at her boyfriend "STOP HITTING ME WITH YOUR DICK"
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
It was odd. His friends dick tasted the same as his. Friends are beginning to have to much in common
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
Randomize
