We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
I couldnt find her vag and just started laughing uncontrollably. She was not pleased. Neither was i.
she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize