what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
It's a pretty amazing thing to watch... He used "Rad tits" as his pick up line of the night. And it worked... 3 times
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I just realized this morning that my fridge is stocked with coronas, hot dogs, and cheese dip. And I just got waxed. High-five, your best friend is on track to be all kinds of slutty fun this wkd.
I just came in my own mouth don't ask me how cuz it really hurt and felt good at the same time.
Randomize
