there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
I remember fighting the chubby dude and the bouncer put me in the full Nelson. Woke up this morning with a dislocated shoulder. We need to finish the rest of this beer though
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Everyone at work loved my story about sobering up in a river with no bra on.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
