I hate your face
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Also, hurry up because I don't like drinking alone. I'm still doing it, but I don't like it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
She thinks I come over for the sex, but I really come for the snacks.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
Do I have to formally apologize to Brett for flashing him?
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
