Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
He tried to stick it in and I asked him what he wanted to name our child and he quit.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
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