you wouldn't stop saying "oil can" in the tin man voice until I gave you back your flask
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I just realized I have my pepper spray, gun, and vibrator all in one drawer. One false grab and I'm screwed either way.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
My vibrator broke.
Dude it's been less than twelve hours. Did you sleep?
Don't worry about that. I need a new vibrator.
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