Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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