I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
When I masturbate I pretend my dick is the slap chop an I'm destroying vegtables. Do you think that's a eating disorder?
This concert is like a reunion of all my bad sex.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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